A Vampy One
The guilt of doing so.
The rage of becoming more than less.
The act of loosing, because the trigger is disgustingly disguised as pleasure.
But what if this brings pain?
If the desire is to move then why try to force yourself to stand still in the sea of chaos that is presented as life’s turn of the wheel?
The trigger is hearing a name, a song of the past. Then melting, desiring, wishing to fade away. That took its turn bashing me up. Cutting me into slices of memories. The past replaying the past. Voices that have no control over me, stealing the light within me to show the truth of the vision without, the monster from within. The crash, a meteor of realignment!
If I am an energy vampire then I take and take and thus never replenish the You. If I pour out and pour out, I lose sight of the lacking, Need giving - to be in -the receiving. Where is the threshold? The liminal space between having enough and not pleading for more? When does the sweet spot hit with more than enough and asking for what you already have?
I give my hype with all I have. If I present as soo much then how come every time I do more and do more, offer more of me, pour out, I am met with acceptance and hype in return? The will to desire to know to do more. Do something to feel something, Ask for the path to appear, gain wisdomme in the direction of your dreams.
If you pour from the heart, the gifts do appear. If you send with approval, the recipients shout in adorning abundance as wealth.
If you could have more, what would the options need to be? If you know you are meant for something better, why are you stalling? Above all, if you have truly forgiven, why are you still hurting? And hurting?
Be ashamed, be full of rage and guilt. Let the darkness — do not hide.
Your shadows illuminate the brightness inside. So what, honestly, are you aching from?
What is the undesirable will and testament to understanding without a doubt the wishes and desires you could live without? What will it take to turn on the suffering with kink?
What is the pull from inside the heart? How does one feel a regretting remark? Pull from the heartspace that which must be felt. Pull into your higher self.
As you ask for desire, abundance, alignment, and wealth, speak of the nasty, the painful, and doubt.
Shine a light on the disses, self-deprecation and misses. Be thankful for the mustakes. Your missteps toward this path. For all hold your wisdom, satisfaction, approval, and turn-off.
When you fuckup, what do you feel? Self-hate or approval of the lesson at hand? When you are pushed, forced, coerced, is there a playful approach at hand? What if the will is the way that you always, allways know you are in possession of the keys that alter space, time and place. You are the victim, the abuser, and circumstance. You are the wisdom, the loving light, and all of your kinky little thoughts.
What do you take? And what do you want?! Do you know what is missing and can become food for thought? Do you see your mistakes as re-approval of Self? Are you willing to look in the mirror of wealth? Will you open the portal to your pouring and pulling, hear art? Do you feel what you need to make a new move? Can you be more than willing to choose a true new move?
What if you didn’t run and try to hide? Please allow your permission to be your own guide.
Okay, so it’s mystery…it’s less distaste of yourself…more of want for The Unknown. The Other, will of your forbidden — what’s hidden in your Psyche.
The monster within.
Without Her skin.
So all in all, over all else, this is about the vampy Voice.
Within.
Without.
Clawing to let it out.
Kink, Existentially, Of course.
Existential Kink is a meditation practice used for manifesting and to integrate the wounded parts of yourself. Use this 25minute guided meditation to enhance your personal practice. Includes :: tethering, deep breathing along the chakra line, creating awareness, desire activation, and mantra work in the name of bringing forth what you really, really want in this fiery, fucked-up world, subconsciously, even.
A strong foundation of breath work, shadow work, and black magic is recommended* Not for beginners**
Embodiment Resource — Digital Audio File. Recommended Supplement Document :: Emotional Freedom Technique Guidebook by Animal In A Dress or requesting your personalized Tarot reading through the cards with Jordan.
You will be sent a link (24hour expiration) to an audio recorded file for download that you may reference time and time again to deepen your ritual. For a fully customized embodiment session of your own, please get in touch.
